Dear College Girl Sara…

Dear College Girl Sara,

Admittedly, this is the last thing I should be thinking about – what with a big presentation next week – but since my presentation is what helps students get to college, I spend a lot of of time thinking about just that.

Things I Wish You Knew

It’s okay to not have a plan

I know that silly boy from high school will throw you for a loop that first day in the bookstore when he has his arms filled with computer science textbooks and judges your mismatched classes and textbooks. Newsflash: he became a dentist, not a computer scientist… so don’t sweat it.  Try out a few different things.  Figure out what you like and what you don’t like.  Even though you’re going to end up getting a highly specialized degree, you won’t use it within 5 years of graduation – and that’s okay.  It’s more the skills that you learned while getting the degree that will matter – and the fact that you proved everyone wrong (because letsbehonest, you like doing that).

You don’t have to stick to who is familiar

This goes for those silly boys you will waste your time on.  Just because you are in the same social circles, grew up in the same place, and have friends in common doesn’t mean that they are the ONLY boys in the world.  They aren’t and they won’t be.  Stop being afraid of putting yourself out there and meeting people who aren’t already connected to you.

Learn to win friends and influence people

Your dad was REALLY good at this… but, you were raised by your mom after he passed away. She is not NEARLY as diplomatic as he was.  You’re going to need to start channeling his diplomacy skills if you want to have any hope of getting people to help you out.  I know it’s hard because you’ve been strong and independent (from the best possible example) for so long, but there are a lot of things you’re not going to be able to control… so make friends with the department secretary, the career services people, the ombudsman, and everyone else you might need along the way (which is basically everyone).

People who burn you WILL do it again

Underneath that independence, I know there’s a soft and forgiving person… but stop letting people take advantage of you.  People who say they are your friends and do really terrible things to you (or behind your back) are NOT YOUR FRIENDS.  Let them go.  Don’t hang on because it’s familiar.  Forgive, but don’t forget.  You’re going to cause yourself a lot of angst by keeping scorpions around – and even if it’s sad at first, life will go.

Ask for help

I know math isn’t your strong subject.  We can trace that back to skipping 9th grade and taking algebra by correspondence.  But, if you’re going to insist on majoring in engineering (to prove everyone wrong), learn to ask for help.  Maybe office hours won’t help, but there’s a tutor list in the math department office.  Call those people.  If you don’t like the first one, keep calling until you find someone who can help you.  Don’t wait until its too late to drop the course, don’t wait until you’re in over your help, just ask for help!  There’s not been a thing that has killed you yet, so don’t let math chip away at your soul for so long.

Things I’m Proud of You For

Doing the Right Thing

For whatever reason, the path of least resistance has never appealed to you.  You’re going to get involved with a high profile post-9/11 trial and you’re going to become very unpopular for your beliefs and your efforts.  Stand tall and firm in the knowledge that you are doing the right thing.  Carry those petitions, talk to anyone who will listen, and know that you are comforting people who are hurting more than you could ever imagine right now.   The university isn’t going to do anything to you, but if you remain silent, you will be bearing witness to one of the many atrocities committed in the name of counter-terrorism in a post-9/11 world.   Your political beliefs will be shaken to the core, you will lose quite a bit faith in humanity, and you will emerge completely jaded, but you’ll become a better person for it.

Surrounding Yourself with People who Make You Better

Your freshman year will be pretty rocky, but by sophomore year, you’ll be ensconced by UoR and you’ll make a serious group of girlfriends who will quite literally save your life.  They won’t know it, but you will.  When you have to come home to Texas, you’ll have a solid foundation and you’ll start surrounding yourself with more people who help you become a better person, instead of a worse person.  Unfortunately, like the California girls, most of them will live too far away… but it will work out.  By the time you graduate, the uncertain barely seventeen-year-old girl of freshman year will be gone, and you’ll have a really solid idea of who you are and what you want for your life.

Getting Involved

You’re going to prove the same intensity that you did in high school – trying a little bit of anything and everything.  One of the things your step-dad will admire most about you is how you will lose something and get right back up and try again.  From playing on the college tennis team to being on the cheerleading squad to writing for the campus newspaper to trying to become president of SPE, you’re going to hone those leadership skills in college and put yourself beyond your comfort zone.  You’ll study abroad in a country where you don’t speak the language (and it will be amazing)…  I don’t think you’ll graduate with any regrets at the rate you’re going to go!

I better get back to my presentation, but hang in there — you’ve got this… and if you ever think you don’t, just look at everything you’ve done so far!

Love,

Sara